March 16, 2010

A word about the name of this blog.

This is a blending of my "maiden" name -- which by the way is still my name even after marriage -- and my husband's last name. We did not use this amalgamation as a last name for our 2 children (who are young men now). That would have been cruel!

But Simpel is the our family nickname, and has been for years.

As for a representational theme for this blog (simple and best), well the name will probably have nothing to do with what I talk about except in some abstract manner ( after all one can interpret anything any way they want). And forget worldwide themes -- I am too shallow for that.

So for my first topic (oh the anticipation)....

Why TV causes ADD in adults (and the potential for other mental ailments)

I have an HD TV that the cable company feeds many, many channels -- every theme you can think of -- sports, christianity, food, space, discovery, deja-view, book, mystery, new movies, old movies, horror movies, documentaries, biography, weather, kids and on and on and on..........

On top of this, I have a remote control that allows me to switch quickly between channels, view 2 programs in the picture-in-picture feature, and click a TV guide channel that shows six screens of themed montages. The remote and cable guide require a 40 page booklet to operate -- but after a few months you get the hang of it.

For instance, last night I was flipping between Wild Gourmets on Food, the movie Shallow Hal on the local channel, Ancients Behaving Badly on History and Property Virgins on HGTV. This is how I watch TV now. I don't remember the last time I sat though an entire program without practicing fliptus-interuptus.

Of the four programs I was watching, Wild Gourmets came up on top of the 'most minutes watched' list. I found it rather fascinating to follow the male and female hosts -- both sporting a tree-hugging, vegan facade -- as they camped in a field and killed small fowl. In graphic closeups they decapitated, de-feathered gutted and roasted the remains over an open fire. And being the neighbourly sort, invited the farm couple in whose field they were camping, over for a nice dinner of pigeon breasts and greens.

From there I flipped to Shallow Hal (Jack Black and Gwenth Paltrow playing a fat person), then a quick click to Genghis Khan behaving badly (a short tempered man who liked to torture and behead people), then over to Property Virgins (delusional starry eyed dream home seekers facing real estate reality)...then back to Wild Gourmets, just in time to catch the fit and outdoorsy male host pouring a container of water over his naked body. It had been hot work chasing down a host of pheasants destined for the supper's stew pot.

What can I say, I have a problem. And one that, at the moment there is no rehab. Although, now that sex has become an addiction -- maybe channel hopping is next -- before we become a civilization with the attention spans of gnats.

Although, it may be said, there is an upside.

I am sure that when civilization collapses, Wild Gourmet will come in handy. And I now have a new sensitivity toward our 'larger' population, and those first time home buyers too. And at my next dinner party I will dazzle the assembled with my knowledge of Genghis Khan - including the gory bits.

And that is the Simpel truth.